You might not what to hear this, but when you see your teen at their worst, what you are really seeing is your child feeling safe and loved. It’s because they feel comfortable enough in their home environment that they can put their guard down.
Simply put. How they behave at home is not what the rest of the world experiences with regards to your teen.
although anxiety is a diagnosis, it is not a death sentence. There is hope for your teen and your relationship with them. There are things you can do that will actually help them in learning to cope with their anxiety and thrive in the world. And both of you can make it to the other side stronger, both as individuals and as a family.
Being a parent (especially of independence-craving teenagers who think they have it all figured out) is the toughest job in the world.
It’s not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure. It requires a ton of courage, mental resolve and sometimes, a deaf ear to other parents’ unsolicited advice (or snarky behind-the-scenes comments) who think your clench is too tight.
“Negotiating with children is part of fatherhood.”
Everything is a negotiation, especially with kids. Comedian Jim Gaffigan jokes that his youngest daughter acts as the ring leader for his other four kids and turns bedtime into a hostage negotiation. Reluctantly, Gaffigan caves and gives in to their demands as long as they go to sleep. It’s humorous and true. Negotiating with children is part of fatherhood. And sometimes, we have to negotiate with our kids to regain some of our sleep.
Everyone makes mistakes, but when parents mess up in relation to their children, it can be hard to own up to their failures.
“As parents, we may feel uncomfortable about apologizing to our kids,” said Genevieve von Lob, a clinical psychologist and author of “Happy Parent, Happy Child.” “We may fear that we’ll lose our authority as parents if we say we’re sorry, and that our children might lose respect for us, and even start using our apology against us.”
She emphasized, however, that the exact opposite is true.
But what’s the best way to go about apologizing to your children ?
A Ted Talk is a lively and engaging presentation given in an informal manner by guests from all different types of backgrounds They are often a motivational talk that can teach our kids important life lessons and help them to understand themselves and the world around them a little better. They are almost always inspirational and some can even be laugh-out-loud funny. There are doctors, comedians, celebrities, activists, teachers, and sometimes even kids and teens.
Remember at the start of Covid, when kids around the country were having to do school from home, and frazzled parents everywhere said, “Dear teachers, we’re so sorry we didn’t appreciate you! We’ll give you whatever you want! Anything at all! Just please take our kids back”? Yeah, I don’t really remember that either. It was rather a short-lived phase. As soon as the kids were back in school, parents forgot all about the stress of home-schooling. And honestly, it wasn’t even home-schooling.
Adolescents at Risk
Prinstein notes that “the ability to interact with peers and remain emotionally regulated predicts addiction, dropout rates, relationships issues and even child-rearing ability.” Researchers have found that two groups of teens are most at risk for long-term consequences related to their social status.
According to the Childmind Institute, “For teens, the threat of having their phone confiscated or, worse, having their phone searched by their parents, would seem to be a powerful deterrent to bad behavior. At least parents would like to think it’s a deterrent. But what is really going through the mind of your teen when you take their cell phone away?”
Over 25% of 5th – 8th graders consider popularity more important than friendships.
Not all kids want to be popular, but they need to figure out how to navigate peers and status. Preteens are working on figuring out who they are outside their family, so peer status matters. Here’s what’s happening developmentally and how you can help your child navigate it.