Do you find yourself saying yes to things when you really want to say no?
You need to say no when you need to say no, but there tends to be a feeling of guilt when we have to say no even when we know we don’t really have the time or space to do so.
While being available for and helping out others is a nice gesture, sometimes you need to just put yourself first. You have needs and desires and it’s hard to take care of yourself when you’re always taking care of others. It may be difficult and you may feel a touch of guilt, but you need to put your foot down and just say “no, I don’t have the time to help.”
It is best to communicate clearly. You should not use ‘maybe’s’, no ‘I’ll let you know’s’, or ‘if I have the time’s.’ You can’t leave any room for ambiguity. Just be clear and concise. “No, I can’t help you with this project.”
Take time for yourself and reduce your availability to others. People will understand that you need to finish your own stuff before you are available to help them, even if that means you don’t get around to helping them in the timeframe they need it, You have to give yourself that same grace. Constantly running yourself thin isn’t good for your mental or physical health.
Sometimes you need to sit in silence because you’re stressed out. Take that time for yourself and stand your ground. Others may think you’re ‘sitting and doing nothing,’ but really you’re meditating and getting out of your own head. Don’t be afraid to tell people you just need time to yourself because you deserve it just as much as they do. Allow yourself to be selfish sometimes. It doesn’t do anyone any good when you’ve run yourself ragged and you’re moody with everyone.
We all need to say ‘no’ more often instead of saying ‘yes’ and then regretting it when you realize you could use that time to yourself. You have to start putting yourself first.